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Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Mad
Humorous
Save
Gave
Humor
Went
Would
Time

More quotes by Douglas Adams

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Well the hours are good...' ... 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.
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Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast.
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Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
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The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.
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Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.
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Arthur shook his head and sat down. He looked up. “I thought you must be dead …” he said simply. “So did I for a while,” said Ford, “and then I decided I was a lemon for a couple of weeks. I kept myself amused all that time jumping in and out of a gin and tonic.
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Imagine he said, never even thinking, 'We are alone,' simply because it has never occurred to you to think that there's any other way to be.
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In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot.
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2,000 years ago one man got nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be if everyone was nice to each other for a change.
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
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Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.
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I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken.
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It's good to leave your room super-messy when you're away. Whoever tries to break into your room will thought it has already been ransacked.
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Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
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The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end.
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I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More I cannot say.
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The Presidents job, is not to wield power himself, but to lead attention away from it.
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When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
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Time doesn't necessarily happen in chronological order.
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The Guide says there is an art to flying, said Ford, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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