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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Statistics
Guide
Guides
Reality
Inaccurate
Definitive
Frequently

More quotes by Douglas Adams

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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
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You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.
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How many roads must a man walk down?
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All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.
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Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
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Even light, which travels so fast it takes most races thousands of years to realize that it travels at all, takes time to journey between the stars.
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Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food.
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If God allows proof that he exists he robs people of faith and without faith what is God? Nothing.
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He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
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Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up.
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He has personality problems beyond the dreams of analysts.
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If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
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The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish.
Douglas Adams
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Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)
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I am terribly proud of-I was born in Cambridge in 1952 and my initials are DNA!
Douglas Adams
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The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor.
Douglas Adams
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People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around.
Douglas Adams
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If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner... Yeah? Please don't hesitate to get lost.
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If somebody votes for a party that you don't agree with, you're free to argue about it as much as you like. ... But on the other hand, if somebody says, 'I mustn't move a light switch on a Saturday,' you say, 'Fine, I respect that.'
Douglas Adams
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There is a feeling which persists in England that making a sandwich interesting, attractive, or in any way pleasant to eat is something sinful that only foreigners do.
Douglas Adams