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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

Douglas Adams

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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
Guides
Reality
Inaccurate
Definitive
Frequently
Statistics
Guide

More quotes by Douglas Adams

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I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg.
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Well the hours are good...' ... 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.
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Grown men, he told himself, in flat contradiction of centuries of accumulated evidence about the way grown men behave, do not behave like this.
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Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill.
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I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken.
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The bird that would soar above the plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings.
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He had got himself a life. Now he had to find a purpose in it.
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The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That’s cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat.
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Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.
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Even a manically depressed robot is better to talk to than nobody.
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He actually caught himself saying things like Yippee, as he pranced ridiculously round the house.
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It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
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Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
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I refuse to prove that I exist says God, for proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing. Oh, says man, but the Babel Fish is a dead give-away, isn't it? It proves You exist, and so therefore You don't. Q.E.D. Oh, I hadn't thought of that, says God, who promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
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Assumptions are the things we don't know we're making.
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The Guide says there is an art to flying, said Ford, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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God's Final Message to His Creation: 'We apologize for the inconvenience.
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He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
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Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippie, good-timer (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terrible bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch.
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Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up.
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