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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams
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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
Novelist
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
America
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More quotes by Douglas Adams
The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn't ring. Or the phone.
Douglas Adams
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
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Gordon Way's astonishment at being suddenly shot dead was nothing compared to his astonishment at what happened next.
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The fact is, I don't know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn't collapse when you beat your head against it.
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Why are people born? Why do they die? Why do they want to spend so much of the intervening time wearing digital watches?
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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer
Douglas Adams
Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason [Zaphood] had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did.
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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What is this? Some sort of galactic hyperhearse?
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It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.
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He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
Douglas Adams
Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it, said Marvin. And what happened? pressed Ford. It committed suicide, said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.
Douglas Adams
Solutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there's no point trying to look in that direction because it won't be coming from there.
Douglas Adams
Generally, old media don't die. They just have to grow old gracefully. Guess what, we still have stone masons. They haven't been the primary purveyors of the written word for a while now of course, but they still have a role because you wouldn't want a TV screen on your headstone.
Douglas Adams
The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.
Douglas Adams
I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is.
Douglas Adams
Conceited little mega-puppy.
Douglas Adams
For as long as he could remember, he’d suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there.
Douglas Adams
Being virtually killed by a virtual laser in a virtual space is just as effective as the real thing, because you are as dead as you think you are.
Douglas Adams
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
Douglas Adams
