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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams
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Douglas Adams
Age: 49 †
Born: 1952
Born: March 11
Died: 2001
Died: May 11
Comedian
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Science Fiction Writer
Screenwriter
Writer
Douglas Noel Adams
Douglas Noël Adams
Douglas N. Adams
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More quotes by Douglas Adams
I have always been absurdly, ridiculously tall. To give you an idea- when we went on school trips to Interesting and Improving Places, the form-master wouldn't say Meet under the clock tower, or Meet under the War Memorial, but Meet under Adams.
Douglas Adams
ABOYNE (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him.
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Moving from radio to television, you can take most of the words with you.
Douglas Adams
If there was one thing life had taught her it was that there are times when you do not go back for your bag and times when you do. It had yet to teach her to distinguish between the two types of occasion.
Douglas Adams
Imagine he said, never even thinking, 'We are alone,' simply because it has never occurred to you to think that there's any other way to be.
Douglas Adams
Democracy is all about not electing the wrong man-eating lizard.
Douglas Adams
After a while he played with the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn't know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react.
Douglas Adams
I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I’ve thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing.
Douglas Adams
So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?' I asked. He looked at me as if I were stupid. 'You die, of course. That's what deadly means.
Douglas Adams
Why' is the only question that bothers people enough to have an entire letter of the alphabet named after it. The alphabet does not go 'A B C D What? When? How?' but it does go 'V W X Why? Z.
Douglas Adams
How can I tell, said the man, that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?
Douglas Adams
He had extracted himself from the Cambridge one-way system by the usual method, which involved going round and round it faster and faster until he achieved a sort of escape velocity and flew off at a tangent in a random direction, which he was now trying to identify and correct for.
Douglas Adams
Please relax, said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, you are perfectly safe.
Douglas Adams
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
Douglas Adams
Siamese Cats have a way of staring at you. Those who have walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will know the expression.
Douglas Adams
How many roads must a man walk down?
Douglas Adams
When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.
Douglas Adams
Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas Adams
Earth: mostly harmless
Douglas Adams
One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted family can't cope with.
Douglas Adams