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Separation of Church and State is the perineum of America and the episiotomy didn't hold.

Doug Stanhope

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Doug Stanhope
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 25
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Worcester
Massachusetts
Douglas Stanhope
States
Separation
Hold
State
Church
Didn
America

More quotes by Doug Stanhope

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Mutations are exciting, there aren't nearly enough of them.
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Everything that is going to kill you is extremely appetizing.
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There's nothing funnier than getting a death threat via MySpace. Why don't you just write it in a children's birthday card.
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Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.
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Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his name.
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Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.
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You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.
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Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.
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Religious tolerance. No! Zero tolerance for any type of religion.
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The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.
Doug Stanhope
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Man, it just cost me five dollars to beat my own meat... God bless the United States of America.
Doug Stanhope
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I need you to love me, I don't like me, either, if that helps.
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Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.
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The key to a good life: excess in moderation. They'll tell you moderation is the key to life, but that's bullshit.
Doug Stanhope
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He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.
Doug Stanhope
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Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed it up... there are too many people.
Doug Stanhope
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I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals.
Doug Stanhope
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The Mind is everything. Do drugs. But just don't have drugs.
Doug Stanhope
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The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.
Doug Stanhope
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I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.
Doug Stanhope