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Coward is the most misused word in our society.

Doug Stanhope

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Doug Stanhope
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 25
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Worcester
Massachusetts
Douglas Stanhope
Coward
Word
Society
Misused

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People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.
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Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.
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I have no answers, but every day I wish I could have the same point of view for any 24-hour period. I wish I was in some system where I don't constantly question myself.
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That's why cocaine is illegal - it makes pussy too easy to get.
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I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im paying to see a comedy, then I just want to see whos funniest, with everyone treated equally.
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Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.
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People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.
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I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.
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I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.
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Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.
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The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.
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Your instinct is your true god. Follow it.
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I'm gonna film my entire life and watch it later!
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Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.
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Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!
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The Mind is everything. Do drugs. But just don't have drugs.
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There's nothing funnier than getting a death threat via MySpace. Why don't you just write it in a children's birthday card.
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I drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the old days after a show you could hang out with a few people. But now you're hanging around with 20 people, all of whom don't know each other, and they're all, Leave my outgoing greeting on my voice mail, man, come on!
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If I die soon, don't ever say I died too young.
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I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.
Doug Stanhope