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Coward is the most misused word in our society.
Doug Stanhope
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Doug Stanhope
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 25
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Worcester
Massachusetts
Douglas Stanhope
Misused
Coward
Word
Society
More quotes by Doug Stanhope
What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.
Doug Stanhope
I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.
Doug Stanhope
There's a lot of meth [in Bisbee]. So there's an ex-cop-car Tahoe and a BE DRUG FREE van parked right in front of my house.
Doug Stanhope
It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.
Doug Stanhope
When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.
Doug Stanhope
I used to be a partier, now I'm an alcoholic. It's all in who's judging you.
Doug Stanhope
Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.
Doug Stanhope
Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.
Doug Stanhope
The key to a good life: excess in moderation. They'll tell you moderation is the key to life, but that's bullshit.
Doug Stanhope
Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.
Doug Stanhope
You do bits and you fake anger and you write a bit and you have passion for it. Then you do it too many times and you have to work up the anger... and I've never had to do that with Dr. Drew Pintsky. Dr. Drew is to medicine what David Blaine is to science.
Doug Stanhope
People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.
Doug Stanhope
I'm gonna film my entire life and watch it later!
Doug Stanhope
Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.
Doug Stanhope
Man, it just cost me five dollars to beat my own meat... God bless the United States of America.
Doug Stanhope
This is Lakshmi Singh. It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.
Doug Stanhope
You have options when it comes to abortion now. It's not like 1955 when you just had to kick her down a staircase and hope for the best... you feed her a tapeworm and hope it takes a left at the Y.
Doug Stanhope
I don't like life that much. It's not that big a deal for me... I don't want to know I have cancer till it's visible to the naked eye.
Doug Stanhope
Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.
Doug Stanhope
I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.
Doug Stanhope