Quote

If second hand smoke is killing that many people and nicotine is so addictive then why is no one addicted to second hand smoke?

Doug Stanhope

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Doug Stanhope
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 25
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Worcester
Massachusetts
Douglas Stanhope
Many
Nicotine
People
Addictive
Addicted
Smoke
Killing
Second
Hand
Hands

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I have a picture I keep in my wallet of my father's corpse... I keep that picture in my wallet to show people who show me baby pictures.
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Get the right to marry - and then don't.
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Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.
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If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that? I need the press.
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Separation of Church and State is the perineum of America and the episiotomy didn't hold.
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I have no answers, but every day I wish I could have the same point of view for any 24-hour period. I wish I was in some system where I don't constantly question myself.
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The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.
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When I used to drive on the road from L. A., one time in Arizona we went off-road to see what weird little towns are around. Loved Bisbee.
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How do you pledge allegiance to a government? That's all America is: a government. There's no such thing as 'we're Americans.' That's just trivial bullshit to get you rooting for the home team. You're not an American. You're a guy, you're a person, you're an individual.
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I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.
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The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.
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One UK paper described me as a miserablist, a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.
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You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.
Doug Stanhope
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He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.
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I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.
Doug Stanhope
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Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed it up... there are too many people.
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Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.
Doug Stanhope
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It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.
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Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.
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AA makes Scientology look credible.
Doug Stanhope