Quote

When I say that asian women are beautiful it's not a sexual thing. I'm not being degrading, I find them sexually repulsive.

Doug Stanhope

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Doug Stanhope
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 25
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Worcester
Massachusetts
Douglas Stanhope
Thing
Repulsive
Degrading
Sexually
Asian
Sexual
Beautiful
Women
Find

More quotes by Doug Stanhope

Image
I was terrified when my doctor told me that I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new Zoloft or Prozac and now I just take three pills a day and I blend right into this horrible inbred corporate landscape.
Doug Stanhope
Image
In 20 years of comedy, I've probably had a dozen good points.
Doug Stanhope
Image
Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world in.
Doug Stanhope
Image
At least black people knew when they were slaves you remain clueless.
Doug Stanhope
Image
Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.
Doug Stanhope
Image
The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.
Doug Stanhope
Image
I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.
Doug Stanhope
Image
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.
Doug Stanhope
Image
This is Lakshmi Singh. It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.
Doug Stanhope
Image
The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.
Doug Stanhope
Image
My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny?
Doug Stanhope
Image
So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.
Doug Stanhope
Image
Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.
Doug Stanhope
Image
Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.
Doug Stanhope
Image
The Unbookables are supposed to be unbookable. That's what it's all about.
Doug Stanhope
Image
I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle you are not all going to be here at the end.
Doug Stanhope
Image
Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.
Doug Stanhope
Image
If I was a freak of nature... Hell yeah I wanna do freak shows! I don't wanna be applying for jobs at the mall.
Doug Stanhope
Image
Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.
Doug Stanhope
Image
Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
Doug Stanhope