Quote

Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.

Doug Stanhope

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Doug Stanhope
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 25
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Worcester
Massachusetts
Douglas Stanhope
Dead
Charlie
Face
Insane
Faces
Forces
Force
Effect
Nature
Laugh
Must
Effects
Chaplin
Something
Laughing
Helplessness
Humor
Defiance

More quotes by Doug Stanhope

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I'm forty four I'm way closer to dead than I am life of the party.
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I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.
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The Unbookables are supposed to be unbookable. That's what it's all about.
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I was terrified when my doctor told me that I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new Zoloft or Prozac and now I just take three pills a day and I blend right into this horrible inbred corporate landscape.
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You do bits and you fake anger and you write a bit and you have passion for it. Then you do it too many times and you have to work up the anger... and I've never had to do that with Dr. Drew Pintsky. Dr. Drew is to medicine what David Blaine is to science.
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Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.
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Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.
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The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.
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How do you pledge allegiance to a government? That's all America is: a government. There's no such thing as 'we're Americans.' That's just trivial bullshit to get you rooting for the home team. You're not an American. You're a guy, you're a person, you're an individual.
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Abject flattery and indiscriminate assentation degrade, as much as indiscriminate contradiction and noisy debate disgust. But a modest assertion of one's own opinion, and a complaisant acquiescence in other people's, preserve dignity.
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They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to the 90-year-old lying awake at the graveyard shift in the nursing home, groaning with dementia. The only reason he hasn't killed himself is that he hasn't figured out a way he can do it with pudding.
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I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals.
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If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad parents.
Doug Stanhope
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Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.
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Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his name.
Doug Stanhope
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You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.
Doug Stanhope
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At least black people knew when they were slaves you remain clueless.
Doug Stanhope
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Separation of Church and State is the perineum of America and the episiotomy didn't hold.
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Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.
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I'm not the one-take wonder that a lot people think I am.
Doug Stanhope