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Religious tolerance. No! Zero tolerance for any type of religion.

Doug Stanhope

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Doug Stanhope
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: March 25
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Writer
Worcester
Massachusetts
Douglas Stanhope
Religion
Zero
Tolerance
Type
Religious

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You forget, when you're in the Scandinavian countries, you forget they don't speak English first and they speak better than I do.
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It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.
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When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.
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Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.
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I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.
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Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
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He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.
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I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.
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I used to do boiler room telemarketing for a living, like hardcore fraud stuff that gets busted on 60 Minutes every week.
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I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits you can't smoke somebody pretty.
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I'm not the one-take wonder that a lot people think I am.
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If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad parents.
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Just for being a religion at all you're as complicit as the rest in the retardation of the human intellectual progress.
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Pot is to narcotics what herpes is to social diseases it doesn't count cos it's not really dangerous and it's too easy to get.
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Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.
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A lot of the Olympic games just boil down to genetics. Michael Phelps is genetically built to swim better than other people if he trains the same way. You might as well have a competition for who's the tallest, and act like it's anyone's game!
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Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.
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Every vice is already a punishment in itself... you don't need a ticket on top of it.
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