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An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

Doug Larson

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Doug Larson
Age: 91 †
Born: 1926
Born: February 10
Died: 2017
Died: April 1
Journalist
Alibi
Reputation
Reason

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For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
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Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
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If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
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Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
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The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.
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It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them.
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Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
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The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can't be sure.
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The real secret of patience is to find something to do in the meantime.
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Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
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Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
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In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.
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Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
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Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
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Democracy is a system that gives people a chance to elect rascals of their own choice.
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Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.
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For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.
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