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An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

Doug Larson

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Doug Larson
Age: 91 †
Born: 1926
Born: February 10
Died: 2017
Died: April 1
Journalist
Reason
Alibi
Reputation

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A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
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Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
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Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
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Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring.
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Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.
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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
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Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
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Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
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For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
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Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
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Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.
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Achieving it is not only the chief means of adding to your regular duties.
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Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.
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For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
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Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
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People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
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Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.
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