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An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

Doug Larson

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Doug Larson
Age: 91 †
Born: 1926
Born: February 10
Died: 2017
Died: April 1
Journalist
Reason
Alibi
Reputation

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Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
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The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can't be sure.
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The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
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Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
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Democracy is a system that gives people a chance to elect rascals of their own choice.
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Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
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For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
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More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
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Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
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Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose.
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If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
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Achieving it is not only the chief means of adding to your regular duties.
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Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
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Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.
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Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.
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A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.
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In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.
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Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.
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A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.
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