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Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.

Doug Benson

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Doug Benson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 2
Comedian
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
San Diego
California
Something
Comedian
Really
Comedy
Always
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Making
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More quotes by Doug Benson

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I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.
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I'm not physically harming any of these people by being high, and it's just interesting to see that I feel like my values and morals don't change at all when I'm high, but that's a constant. The thing that changes when I'm high is I am happier, and I'm not good with numbers.
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I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.
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In terms of my lungs, pot smoking is not like cigarette smoking. It doesn't affect the lungs as quickly, or as much over time. If I stopped pot smoking today, my lungs could heal probably 100 percent in a few years.
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That's the interesting part of being a judge to me - I don't even care about these people's fights that they're having with each other, but I have to invest in it enough to figure out. I have to make a decision.
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The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.
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Society has definitely gotten to the point where everybody has to comment on anything, and if you want to stay sane as a performer, you're better off not reading that stuff.
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Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it.
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You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new joke doesn't work, I've got lots of old ones that do. Just like cops, it's important to have backup.
Doug Benson
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I enjoy a lot of stuff. That's why I pursued a career in show business, because I enjoy watching everything as much or more than making it. I'm just a big TV and movie junkie from when I was a kid. Fortunately, it worked out.
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You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.
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The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.
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Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.
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I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs next thing you know, I'm telling a lot of jokes about it.
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Do you get a nice monthly check from the government for dwelling on things?
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[Ryan Reynolds] has had stabs at it like Just Friends. He's really fun in that.
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I like to go see a ball game. I'll have seven, eight, nine - 10 beers, and the second inning will roll around, and I gotta go.
Doug Benson
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I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a more intimate and personal experience these days.
Doug Benson
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There's a lust to get on TV.
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Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost as open about it as I am, and in some cases more so. But most that appear, it's more about friendship with me than making some statement about pot. I'm sure those of my friends who are onscreen smoking might have a little regret, but there's not too much of it.
Doug Benson