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I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.

Doug Benson

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Doug Benson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 2
Comedian
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
San Diego
California
Judge
Judging
Judy
Saying
Knee
Almost
Format
Show
Jerk
Funny
Knees
Shows
Thing
Patience

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LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.
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Society has definitely gotten to the point where everybody has to comment on anything, and if you want to stay sane as a performer, you're better off not reading that stuff.
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Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.
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The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.
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Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.
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Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.
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Tom Cruise shouldn't try to win Oscars. He should just smile and kick people in the face and leave the acting to Hugh Jackman. Why Hugh Jackman? I dunno come up with your own example, smart-ass.
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I've always enjoyed things that are popular,I mean, obviously, there are plenty of things that are popular that I hate. But when something like that is done right, I just think they nail it. I just think Modern Family is a really clever show.
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Rappers should be forced to rhyme in their acceptance speeches.
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It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.
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The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.
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I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.
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You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.
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Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.
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In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'
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The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads.
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The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because it's just so... he says so many things.
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Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it.
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There's a lust to get on TV.
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Do you get a nice monthly check from the government for dwelling on things?
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