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[Deadpool] is definitely squirm-inducing. It's a pretty hard R, violence-wise. But cartoony, also. Maybe fast-forward through to torture scenes.
Doug Benson
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Doug Benson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 2
Comedian
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
San Diego
California
Scene
Violence
Squirm
Pretty
Inducing
Wise
Scenes
Maybe
Torture
Also
Fast
Hard
Definitely
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More quotes by Doug Benson
The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.
Doug Benson
I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs next thing you know, I'm telling a lot of jokes about it.
Doug Benson
In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'
Doug Benson
Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with herself?
Doug Benson
The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.
Doug Benson
It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.
Doug Benson
That's the interesting part of being a judge to me - I don't even care about these people's fights that they're having with each other, but I have to invest in it enough to figure out. I have to make a decision.
Doug Benson
If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go for a few days. I was there recently for seven days, seven days in Vegas. After I blew all my money on gambling and prostitution, I had six days to kill.
Doug Benson
I used to make love to Green Day's music. But 9 minutes? I'm not Superman.
Doug Benson
The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads.
Doug Benson
I've always enjoyed things that are popular,I mean, obviously, there are plenty of things that are popular that I hate. But when something like that is done right, I just think they nail it. I just think Modern Family is a really clever show.
Doug Benson
Rappers should be forced to rhyme in their acceptance speeches.
Doug Benson
I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard thing of just moving without much money and just seeing if I could make it work.
Doug Benson
Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost as open about it as I am, and in some cases more so. But most that appear, it's more about friendship with me than making some statement about pot. I'm sure those of my friends who are onscreen smoking might have a little regret, but there's not too much of it.
Doug Benson
LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.
Doug Benson
I like to go see a ball game. I'll have seven, eight, nine - 10 beers, and the second inning will roll around, and I gotta go.
Doug Benson
I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.
Doug Benson
I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.
Doug Benson
I was immediately into all the great movie comedians - Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. Everything those guys had anything to do with, from I don't know how young. Super young.
Doug Benson
Society has definitely gotten to the point where everybody has to comment on anything, and if you want to stay sane as a performer, you're better off not reading that stuff.
Doug Benson