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If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go for a few days. I was there recently for seven days, seven days in Vegas. After I blew all my money on gambling and prostitution, I had six days to kill.

Doug Benson

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Doug Benson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 2
Comedian
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
San Diego
California
Days
Blew
Money
Prostitution
Ever
Vegas
Gambling
Recently
Six
Seven
Kill

More quotes by Doug Benson

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I was immediately into all the great movie comedians - Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. Everything those guys had anything to do with, from I don't know how young. Super young.
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Do you get a nice monthly check from the government for dwelling on things?
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I used to make love to Green Day's music. But 9 minutes? I'm not Superman.
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Society has definitely gotten to the point where everybody has to comment on anything, and if you want to stay sane as a performer, you're better off not reading that stuff.
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Tom Cruise shouldn't try to win Oscars. He should just smile and kick people in the face and leave the acting to Hugh Jackman. Why Hugh Jackman? I dunno come up with your own example, smart-ass.
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In terms of my lungs, pot smoking is not like cigarette smoking. It doesn't affect the lungs as quickly, or as much over time. If I stopped pot smoking today, my lungs could heal probably 100 percent in a few years.
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Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.
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I enjoy a lot of stuff. That's why I pursued a career in show business, because I enjoy watching everything as much or more than making it. I'm just a big TV and movie junkie from when I was a kid. Fortunately, it worked out.
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Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it.
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The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because it's just so... he says so many things.
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Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.
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I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.
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The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads.
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I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard thing of just moving without much money and just seeing if I could make it work.
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There's a lust to get on TV.
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I'm not physically harming any of these people by being high, and it's just interesting to see that I feel like my values and morals don't change at all when I'm high, but that's a constant. The thing that changes when I'm high is I am happier, and I'm not good with numbers.
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That's the interesting part of being a judge to me - I don't even care about these people's fights that they're having with each other, but I have to invest in it enough to figure out. I have to make a decision.
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It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.
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[Deadpool] is definitely squirm-inducing. It's a pretty hard R, violence-wise. But cartoony, also. Maybe fast-forward through to torture scenes.
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The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.
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