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Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.

Doug Benson

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Doug Benson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 2
Comedian
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
San Diego
California
Called
Show
Woman
Shows
Would
Men
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More quotes by Doug Benson

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I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.
Doug Benson
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Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with herself?
Doug Benson
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The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.
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Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost as open about it as I am, and in some cases more so. But most that appear, it's more about friendship with me than making some statement about pot. I'm sure those of my friends who are onscreen smoking might have a little regret, but there's not too much of it.
Doug Benson
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I like to go see a ball game. I'll have seven, eight, nine - 10 beers, and the second inning will roll around, and I gotta go.
Doug Benson
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I enjoy a lot of stuff. That's why I pursued a career in show business, because I enjoy watching everything as much or more than making it. I'm just a big TV and movie junkie from when I was a kid. Fortunately, it worked out.
Doug Benson
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I'm not physically harming any of these people by being high, and it's just interesting to see that I feel like my values and morals don't change at all when I'm high, but that's a constant. The thing that changes when I'm high is I am happier, and I'm not good with numbers.
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In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'
Doug Benson
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Never really intended to be a comedian, just sort of fell into that, but always wanted to be in show business, or something to do with making comedy.
Doug Benson
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I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a more intimate and personal experience these days.
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You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new joke doesn't work, I've got lots of old ones that do. Just like cops, it's important to have backup.
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Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.
Doug Benson
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Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it.
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I was immediately into all the great movie comedians - Woody Allen, Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. Everything those guys had anything to do with, from I don't know how young. Super young.
Doug Benson
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LL Cool J should be the spokesman for a line of pajamas called Ladies Love Cool Jammies.
Doug Benson
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Society has definitely gotten to the point where everybody has to comment on anything, and if you want to stay sane as a performer, you're better off not reading that stuff.
Doug Benson
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There's a lust to get on TV.
Doug Benson
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The motion picture Deadpool was my favorite funny movie of [2016]. Something that I could just watch over and over again, because it's just so... he says so many things.
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[Ryan Reynolds] has had stabs at it like Just Friends. He's really fun in that.
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Do you get a nice monthly check from the government for dwelling on things?
Doug Benson