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Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.
Doug Benson
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Doug Benson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 2
Comedian
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
San Diego
California
Everyone
Tell
Look
Trolls
Looks
Troll
Even
Photographs
Good
Photograph
Jokes
Wants
More quotes by Doug Benson
I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a more intimate and personal experience these days.
Doug Benson
I used to make love to Green Day's music. But 9 minutes? I'm not Superman.
Doug Benson
I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard thing of just moving without much money and just seeing if I could make it work.
Doug Benson
In Seattle, they have a saying: 'If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and then shoot yourself in the face.'
Doug Benson
There's a lust to get on TV.
Doug Benson
It's easier to do comedy with an audience, because their reactions tell you whether or not what your saying qualifies as comedy.
Doug Benson
Tom Cruise shouldn't try to win Oscars. He should just smile and kick people in the face and leave the acting to Hugh Jackman. Why Hugh Jackman? I dunno come up with your own example, smart-ass.
Doug Benson
Society has definitely gotten to the point where everybody has to comment on anything, and if you want to stay sane as a performer, you're better off not reading that stuff.
Doug Benson
Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with herself?
Doug Benson
I almost did the knee-jerk thing of saying Judge Judy is funny to me, but I just don't have the patience for the format of that show.
Doug Benson
I've always enjoyed things that are popular,I mean, obviously, there are plenty of things that are popular that I hate. But when something like that is done right, I just think they nail it. I just think Modern Family is a really clever show.
Doug Benson
I just broke up with my girlfriend because I caught her lying. Under another man.
Doug Benson
Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.
Doug Benson
I made some jokes about weed, got some laughs, made some more jokes, got some more laughs next thing you know, I'm telling a lot of jokes about it.
Doug Benson
I like to go see a ball game. I'll have seven, eight, nine - 10 beers, and the second inning will roll around, and I gotta go.
Doug Benson
[Ryan Reynolds] has had stabs at it like Just Friends. He's really fun in that.
Doug Benson
Rappers should be forced to rhyme in their acceptance speeches.
Doug Benson
You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.
Doug Benson
You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new joke doesn't work, I've got lots of old ones that do. Just like cops, it's important to have backup.
Doug Benson
Do you get a nice monthly check from the government for dwelling on things?
Doug Benson
