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The genius' behind the new Rocky movie decided to call it Rocky Balboa so that we'll probably forget that it's number six. Or Rocky Balboa can't count past five.

Doug Benson

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Doug Benson
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: July 2
Comedian
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Television Actor
San Diego
California
Five
Number
Forget
Genius
Past
Behinds
Behind
Numbers
Rocky
Probably
Count
Movie
Six
Call
Decided

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Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.
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I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard thing of just moving without much money and just seeing if I could make it work.
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Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.
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Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.
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I'm not physically harming any of these people by being high, and it's just interesting to see that I feel like my values and morals don't change at all when I'm high, but that's a constant. The thing that changes when I'm high is I am happier, and I'm not good with numbers.
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I like to go see a ball game. I'll have seven, eight, nine - 10 beers, and the second inning will roll around, and I gotta go.
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I think there is much more storytelling in stand-up now. Less emphasis on the joke. Jokes are still important, but it feels like a more intimate and personal experience these days.
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Tom Cruise shouldn't try to win Oscars. He should just smile and kick people in the face and leave the acting to Hugh Jackman. Why Hugh Jackman? I dunno come up with your own example, smart-ass.
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Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with herself?
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I've always enjoyed things that are popular,I mean, obviously, there are plenty of things that are popular that I hate. But when something like that is done right, I just think they nail it. I just think Modern Family is a really clever show.
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You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.
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If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go for a few days. I was there recently for seven days, seven days in Vegas. After I blew all my money on gambling and prostitution, I had six days to kill.
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In terms of my lungs, pot smoking is not like cigarette smoking. It doesn't affect the lungs as quickly, or as much over time. If I stopped pot smoking today, my lungs could heal probably 100 percent in a few years.
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The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.
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[Deadpool] is definitely squirm-inducing. It's a pretty hard R, violence-wise. But cartoony, also. Maybe fast-forward through to torture scenes.
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That's the interesting part of being a judge to me - I don't even care about these people's fights that they're having with each other, but I have to invest in it enough to figure out. I have to make a decision.
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You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new joke doesn't work, I've got lots of old ones that do. Just like cops, it's important to have backup.
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Fortunately, most of my friends in comedy that smoke pot are almost as open about it as I am, and in some cases more so. But most that appear, it's more about friendship with me than making some statement about pot. I'm sure those of my friends who are onscreen smoking might have a little regret, but there's not too much of it.
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