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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Touched
Tongue
Devil
Birth

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Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
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Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
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I know that an author must be brave enough to chop away clinging tentacles of good taste for the sake of a great work. But this is no great work, you see.
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
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One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
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Now to me, Edith looks like something that would eat her young.
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
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On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?
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Innocence is a desirable thing, a dainty thing, an appealing thing, in its place but carried too far, it is merely ridiculous.
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Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
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There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.
Dorothy Parker