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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Devil
Birth
Touched
Tongue

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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
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People are more than fun than anybody.
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
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Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
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She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
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[On James Gould Cozzens' By Love Possessed:] It is a vast enterprise encompassing all sorts of love, except, naturally, those branches which extend to Jews, Negroes, and people who have lost track of their great-grandparents.
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Writing well is the best revenge.
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Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
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If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
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I hate writing, I love having written.
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