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I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Terrible
Sense
Wanted
Thing
Cute

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you And that cleans up the matter.
Dorothy Parker
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Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.
Dorothy Parker
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Dorothy Parker
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[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.
Dorothy Parker
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
Dorothy Parker
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[Completely bored by a country weekend, wiring to a friend:] For heaven's sake, rush me a loaf of bread, enclosing saw and file.
Dorothy Parker
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
Dorothy Parker
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
Dorothy Parker
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
Dorothy Parker
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Scratch a king and find a fool!
Dorothy Parker
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I hate writing, I love having written.
Dorothy Parker
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
Dorothy Parker
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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Dorothy Parker
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Of Orson Welles: It's like meeting God without dying.
Dorothy Parker
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But I don't give up I forget why not.
Dorothy Parker
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The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
Dorothy Parker
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
Dorothy Parker
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Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
Dorothy Parker