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Eternity is a ham and two people.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Eternity
Two
People
Ham

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
Dorothy Parker
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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
Dorothy Parker
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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
Dorothy Parker
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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
Dorothy Parker
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Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
Dorothy Parker
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Dorothy Parker
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He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
Dorothy Parker
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And where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
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If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
Dorothy Parker
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
Dorothy Parker
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My land is bare of chattering folk / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
Dorothy Parker
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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
Dorothy Parker
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
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Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
Dorothy Parker
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
Dorothy Parker
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Like many a better one before me, I have gone down under the force of numbers, under the books and books and books that keep coming out and coming out and coming out, shoals of them, spates of them, flash floods of them, too blame many books, and no sign of an end.
Dorothy Parker
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If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
Dorothy Parker
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[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.
Dorothy Parker
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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
Dorothy Parker