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Scratch a king and find a fool!

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Scratch
Scratches
King
Kings
Fool
Find

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Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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Flowers are heaven's masterpiece.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time.
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Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them
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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Dorothy Parker
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
Dorothy Parker
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If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
Dorothy Parker
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What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.
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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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