Quote

...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Outside
Eraser
Taught
Convent
Helping
Erasers
World
Ink
Pencil
Erase
Pencils
Spit

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
Dorothy Parker
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[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
Dorothy Parker
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
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Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
Dorothy Parker
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The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
Dorothy Parker
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She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
Dorothy Parker
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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
Dorothy Parker
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Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
Dorothy Parker
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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Flowers are heaven's masterpiece.
Dorothy Parker
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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
Dorothy Parker
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I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain.
Dorothy Parker
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
Dorothy Parker
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
Dorothy Parker
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Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
Dorothy Parker
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
Dorothy Parker
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Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you And that cleans up the matter.
Dorothy Parker
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
Dorothy Parker
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.
Dorothy Parker