Quote

...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Spit
Outside
Eraser
Convent
Taught
Erasers
Helping
Ink
World
Pencil
Erase
Pencils

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Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
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I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey The horse doth with the horseman away.
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
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One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
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Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them
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Somewhere, there, is an analogy, in a small way, if you have the patience for it. But I guess it isn't a very good anecdote. I'm better at animal stories.
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
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The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
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There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.
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When you have to apologize, it is well, I suppose, to get the thing over quickly.
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