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... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Anything
Book
Need
Prevention
Children
Cruelty
Needs
Near
Would
Week
World
Reading
Society

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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Like many a better one before me, I have gone down under the force of numbers, under the books and books and books that keep coming out and coming out and coming out, shoals of them, spates of them, flash floods of them, too blame many books, and no sign of an end.
Dorothy Parker
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[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.
Dorothy Parker
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The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
Dorothy Parker
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
Dorothy Parker
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
Dorothy Parker
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I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
Dorothy Parker
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Dorothy Parker
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker
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One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
Dorothy Parker
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
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What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.
Dorothy Parker
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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
Dorothy Parker
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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
Dorothy Parker
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What ever beauty may be it has for its basis order and for its essence unity Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Dorothy Parker
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...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
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Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
Dorothy Parker
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Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time.
Dorothy Parker
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My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.
Dorothy Parker