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... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Children
Cruelty
Needs
Near
Would
Week
World
Reading
Society
Anything
Book
Need
Prevention

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?
Dorothy Parker
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They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
Dorothy Parker
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If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
Dorothy Parker
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
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...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
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She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Dorothy Parker
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What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.
Dorothy Parker
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song
Dorothy Parker
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Pictures pass me in long review,-- Marching columns of dead events. I was tender, and, often, true Ever a prey to coincidence. Always knew I the consequence Always saw what the end would be. We're as Nature has made us -- hence I loved them until they loved me.
Dorothy Parker
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Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
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Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.
Dorothy Parker
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People are more than fun than anybody.
Dorothy Parker
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.
Dorothy Parker
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I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
Dorothy Parker
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All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
Dorothy Parker
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
Dorothy Parker
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
Dorothy Parker
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
Dorothy Parker
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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
Dorothy Parker