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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Hell
Doorbell
Ringing
Telephone
Telephones
Fresh

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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
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But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
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Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
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Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
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It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
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Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.
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Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
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Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.
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