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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Doorbell
Ringing
Telephone
Telephones
Fresh
Hell
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
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Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
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If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
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My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.
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[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.
Dorothy Parker
I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
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[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.
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On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
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Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
My land is bare of chattering folk / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
Dorothy Parker
Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.
Dorothy Parker
Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
Dorothy Parker
The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
Dorothy Parker
You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
Dorothy Parker
I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
Dorothy Parker
I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.
Dorothy Parker