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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Two
Young
Things
People
Dead
Ought

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
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Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
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My land is bare of chattering folk / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
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She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn.
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tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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A girl's best friend is her mutter.
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
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I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
Dorothy Parker