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[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Busy
Actor
Full
Skit
Actors
References
Think
Annoyed
Thinking
Repeated
Wit
British

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My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.
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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
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[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
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Once, when I was young and true. Someone left me sad - Broke my brittle heart in two And that is very bad. Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a curse. Once there was a heart I broke And that, I think, is worse.
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Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
Dorothy Parker
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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
Dorothy Parker
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Dorothy Parker
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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On lady novelists: As artists they're rot, but as providers they're oil wells they gush. Norris said she never wrote a story unless it was fun to do. I understand Ferber whistles at her typewriter.
Dorothy Parker
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
Dorothy Parker
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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
Dorothy Parker
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
Dorothy Parker
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
Dorothy Parker
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The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
Dorothy Parker
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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
Dorothy Parker
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Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
Dorothy Parker
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Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
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And where does she find them?
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. The boys have gone hog-wild with liberty, yet the short flat terms used over and over, both in dialogue and narrative, add neither vigor nor clarity the effect is not of shock but of something far more dangerous — tedium.
Dorothy Parker