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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Actor
Broken
Terrible
Actors
Barrister
Done
Barristers
Must
Sliding
London
Legs

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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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Somewhere, there, is an analogy, in a small way, if you have the patience for it. But I guess it isn't a very good anecdote. I'm better at animal stories.
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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
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Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
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The writer's way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
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I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
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Guido Natso is natso guido.
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[Completely bored by a country weekend, wiring to a friend:] For heaven's sake, rush me a loaf of bread, enclosing saw and file.
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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
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But I don't give up I forget why not.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
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Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
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