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[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Coolidge
Hearing
Dead
President
Tell

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The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.
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Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to believe is the thing he feels he knows to be true.
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There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.
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And I'll stay off Verlaine too he was always chasing Rimbauds.
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
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My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
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Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.
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