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[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Dead
President
Tell
Coolidge
Hearing
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching. Women alone often developed into experts at the practice. She must never join their dismal league.
Dorothy Parker
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
Dorothy Parker
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
Dorothy Parker
Ah, clear they see and true they say That one shall weep, and one shall stray
Dorothy Parker
[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.
Dorothy Parker
Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
Dorothy Parker
I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
Dorothy Parker
People are more than fun than anybody.
Dorothy Parker
...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
Dorothy Parker
There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
Dorothy Parker
Of Orson Welles: It's like meeting God without dying.
Dorothy Parker
Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
Dorothy Parker
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
Dorothy Parker
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
Dorothy Parker
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Dorothy Parker
He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
Dorothy Parker
One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
Dorothy Parker
There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
Dorothy Parker