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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Finger
Pairs
Fingers
Women
Quirked
Littles
Glitter
Little
Rubber
Book
Elegance
Kind
Pair

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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
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Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
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It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
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The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
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... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker
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If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
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She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
Dorothy Parker
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
Dorothy Parker
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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
Dorothy Parker