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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Shields
Ridicule
Weapon
Weapons
Funny
May
Things
Never
Shield

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
Dorothy Parker
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Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
Dorothy Parker
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Scratch a king and find a fool!
Dorothy Parker
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The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
Dorothy Parker
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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
Dorothy Parker
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
Dorothy Parker
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
Dorothy Parker
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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
Dorothy Parker
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
Dorothy Parker
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I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.
Dorothy Parker
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Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
Dorothy Parker
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
Dorothy Parker
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
Dorothy Parker
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Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
Dorothy Parker
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
Dorothy Parker
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Dorothy Parker
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
Dorothy Parker