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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Funny
May
Things
Never
Shield
Shields
Ridicule
Weapon
Weapons

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
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They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
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[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.
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There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.
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Eternity is a ham and two people.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
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There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
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When you have to apologize, it is well, I suppose, to get the thing over quickly.
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There must be courage there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
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She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
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Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
Dorothy Parker