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I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Finally
Sacraments
Blessed
Verses
Convent
York
Spontaneous
Combustion
Among
Conception
Immaculate
Went
Fell
Sacrament
Children
Suppose
Insistence
Writing
Awful
Fired
Things
Wrote
Hilarious

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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I know that an author must be brave enough to chop away clinging tentacles of good taste for the sake of a great work. But this is no great work, you see.
Dorothy Parker
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I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
Dorothy Parker
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[On James Gould Cozzens' By Love Possessed:] It is a vast enterprise encompassing all sorts of love, except, naturally, those branches which extend to Jews, Negroes, and people who have lost track of their great-grandparents.
Dorothy Parker
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
Dorothy Parker
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Dorothy Parker
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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
Dorothy Parker
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Pictures pass me in long review,-- Marching columns of dead events. I was tender, and, often, true Ever a prey to coincidence. Always knew I the consequence Always saw what the end would be. We're as Nature has made us -- hence I loved them until they loved me.
Dorothy Parker
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Hollywood is one place in the world where you can die of encouragement.
Dorothy Parker
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
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Writing well is the best revenge.
Dorothy Parker
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
Dorothy Parker
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But I don't give up I forget why not.
Dorothy Parker
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If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
Dorothy Parker
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
Dorothy Parker
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
Dorothy Parker
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If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
Dorothy Parker
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
Dorothy Parker
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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
Dorothy Parker
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Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
Dorothy Parker
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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
Dorothy Parker