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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Like
Algonquins
Gin
Martini
Alcohol
Drinking
Drink
Two

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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.
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She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
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Guido Natso is natso guido.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
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Hollywood is the one place on earth where you could die of encouragement.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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Like many a better one before me, I have gone down under the force of numbers, under the books and books and books that keep coming out and coming out and coming out, shoals of them, spates of them, flash floods of them, too blame many books, and no sign of an end.
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If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
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Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
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There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.
Dorothy Parker