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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Thing
Erased
Ink
Spit
Useful
Learned
Education
School
Eraser
Ever
Erasers

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His books are exciting and powerful and — if I may filch the word from the booksy ones — pulsing.
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I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
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There must be courage there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
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Nevil Shute's On the Beach is no Christmas carol, but it seems to me a remarkably fine novel, one which I read, in the peculiarly repulsive phrase, with my eyes glued to the page.
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
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He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
Dorothy Parker
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
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The writer's way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
Dorothy Parker