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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
School
Eraser
Ever
Erasers
Thing
Erased
Ink
Spit
Useful
Learned
Education

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[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.
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Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman.
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
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Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may or, by this time, try though he doesn't.
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Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey The horse doth with the horseman away.
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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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It was written without fear and without research.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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Art is a form of catharsis emotional release, purging, cleansing, purifying.
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
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