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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Thing
Erased
Ink
Spit
Useful
Learned
Education
School
Eraser
Ever
Erasers

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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I hate writing, I love having written.
Dorothy Parker
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
Dorothy Parker
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I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain.
Dorothy Parker
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
Dorothy Parker
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
Dorothy Parker
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
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Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
Dorothy Parker
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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
Dorothy Parker
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They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
Dorothy Parker
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[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?
Dorothy Parker
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People are more than fun than anybody.
Dorothy Parker
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Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.
Dorothy Parker
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
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I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
Dorothy Parker
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My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.
Dorothy Parker
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
Dorothy Parker
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
Dorothy Parker
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
Dorothy Parker
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
Dorothy Parker
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker