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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Certain
Find
Feel
Feels
Wretched
Make
Unnecessary
Things
Looked
Attitude
Hurt
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
Dorothy Parker
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
Dorothy Parker
[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.
Dorothy Parker
Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
Dorothy Parker
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.
Dorothy Parker
Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
Dorothy Parker
I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
Dorothy Parker
...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Dorothy Parker
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead.
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
Dorothy Parker
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may or, by this time, try though he doesn't.
Dorothy Parker
Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
Dorothy Parker
I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
Dorothy Parker