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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Drunk
Avoid
Stay
Best
Way
Hangover
Alcohol

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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
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tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
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People are more than fun than anybody.
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
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It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
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Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
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People are more fun than anyone.
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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
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They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
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Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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