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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Umbrella
Touch
Wouldn
Superlative
Superlatives
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
Dorothy Parker
...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Dorothy Parker
How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
Dorothy Parker
[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.
Dorothy Parker
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
Dorothy Parker
Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead.
Dorothy Parker
Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
Dorothy Parker
If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
Dorothy Parker
One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
Dorothy Parker
There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.
Dorothy Parker
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
Dorothy Parker
Ah, clear they see and true they say That one shall weep, and one shall stray
Dorothy Parker
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
Dorothy Parker
It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
Dorothy Parker
The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
Dorothy Parker
Flowers are heaven's masterpiece.
Dorothy Parker
[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.
Dorothy Parker
At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
