Quote

If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Assuming
Epigram
Credit
Impelled
Seek
Epigrams
Take
Literate
Trying
Oscar
Never
Oscars
Assumption
Assume

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
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Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
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If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
Dorothy Parker
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I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
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It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
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A girl's best friend is her mutter.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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Women and elephants never forget.
Dorothy Parker
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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
Dorothy Parker
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
Dorothy Parker
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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
Dorothy Parker
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
Dorothy Parker