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Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Always
Final
Finals
Became
Husband
Feet
Somebody
Worry
Alan
Land
Divorce

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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
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Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to believe is the thing he feels he knows to be true.
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. The boys have gone hog-wild with liberty, yet the short flat terms used over and over, both in dialogue and narrative, add neither vigor nor clarity the effect is not of shock but of something far more dangerous — tedium.
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
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If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
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If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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Hollywood is the one place on earth where you could die of encouragement.
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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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all men are the same age.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
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I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
Dorothy Parker
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
Dorothy Parker